I was je-jely going through my facebook account when I stumbled across one of my ‘friends’ . I put friend in quote because he is one of my ex-es, what I would call an evil ex. Evil might seem very heavy but now that I look back, I don’t think evil is strong enough to describe what he is. I mean, it is one thing to hear all the nasty things that guys do to the ladies but to meet someone who had all those scroin-scroin…..it was just an unfortunate period of my life and when I think back, I feel my face burn with emberrasment. At times like that,I’m thankful that im a black lady….
Anyways back to my gist, so I decided to do tatafoo which is what I usually do on facebook (sorry to all my friends, considering that facebook is slowly becoming a dead zones, tatafoo seems like the only interesting thing to do), I decided to scope his photos and I discovered that he was married, very very married. I went through the comments and seeing all those congratulatory comments, I felt sayin “I hope she shows you pepper”… but I didn’t. I would have disappointed a lot of people if I had done that but it wouldn’t have made anything better (well, maybe my bruised ego). So I let sleeping dogs lie and calmly, wished him all the happiness he ‘deserves’ (which, honestly by my standards isn’t much) so I guess to some extent, I satisfied myself.
The long and short of the whole story is this, why are we expected to be the bigger persons especially when it comes to matters of a bruised heart or in my case, ego? I mean, I wasn’t vexed that he got married cos he had already informed me (oh-so-smugly) of his plans to get married. It just sucks that I wouldn’t be there when Karma decides to strike. How can someone be so mean to you and you are expected to act like everything is ok and wish him all the happiness in life? *Sigh*, I mean I don’t wish him ill, I only wish that someday, he would realise somehow how nasty he was to me and ask for my forgiveness (I wish). I guess we’ll never know….
I genuiely wish him happiness,it’s a big step he has taken you know. I might not get my apology but I take refuge in the fact that he might have female children, infact, loads of them…..wouldn’t that be such a perfect icing on my cake???